Friday, December 09, 2011
Its been long time.....
Guys.. Its been a long time since I wrote anything...
Kind of busy... Will restart soon.
Kind of busy... Will restart soon.
Thursday, July 05, 2007
After appraisal
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Why Complain?
If you are an NRI, this one is for you.
Being outside of India for a long I have experianced this so many times. I believe you would have too.
The experiance I am talking about is, so many times you would have heard some one saying "India is bad in this, India is bad in that...".
Its not from a Pakisthani or a Bangladesi. It from an Indian (I am not sure if they like to be called so).
The most common complaints you will here are:
1. Roads are dirty and crowded (Cows and dogs roam in middle of the road…).
2. No one is following the trafic rules (No one follows lanes, ..).
3. Too hot.
4. Quality of anything is bad. (Ex: Milk tastes bad, water is not hygenic..).
5. You need to bribe people to get things done.
The list goes on and on.
If you take a close look at the person saying it, you will most likely notice the below things.
1. He would have paid money to some agency to come to the foregin country (US, Australia, UK, …).
2. Few years back he was traveling in the same dirty and crowded roads making them more dirty and more crowded.
3. Definetly violated the traffic rules. Have you always followed the lanes while driving in India?. You kidding me?
4. The weather here is not that easy. It is extreme. It ranges between -20 to +100 F. At least in India we don't have this extreme conditions.
5. You get quality things in India also. Though on a premium price. But what is stopping you to buying them. You can afford it.
6. You don't ask questions while bribing. (ex, while getting an driving license in RTO). Then, Why the hell you talk about it now.
Coming back to the topic, as an Indian living/working in a foreign county, we have a moral responsibility of projecting our country in a good manner.
Atleast don't spoil its image.
When In rome, do as the Romans do. You can do but you will never become one.
You are always going to be an outsider.
No matter you have green card, blue card.. Your status is always going to be "alien".
Situations change my friend. There may be a day when we might be kicked out of this country.
But, atleast we will always have the crowded, dirty.. India to welcome us back. Because, it is our country…………..
Being outside of India for a long I have experianced this so many times. I believe you would have too.
The experiance I am talking about is, so many times you would have heard some one saying "India is bad in this, India is bad in that...".
Its not from a Pakisthani or a Bangladesi. It from an Indian (I am not sure if they like to be called so).
The most common complaints you will here are:
1. Roads are dirty and crowded (Cows and dogs roam in middle of the road…).
2. No one is following the trafic rules (No one follows lanes, ..).
3. Too hot.
4. Quality of anything is bad. (Ex: Milk tastes bad, water is not hygenic..).
5. You need to bribe people to get things done.
The list goes on and on.
If you take a close look at the person saying it, you will most likely notice the below things.
1. He would have paid money to some agency to come to the foregin country (US, Australia, UK, …).
2. Few years back he was traveling in the same dirty and crowded roads making them more dirty and more crowded.
3. Definetly violated the traffic rules. Have you always followed the lanes while driving in India?. You kidding me?
4. The weather here is not that easy. It is extreme. It ranges between -20 to +100 F. At least in India we don't have this extreme conditions.
5. You get quality things in India also. Though on a premium price. But what is stopping you to buying them. You can afford it.
6. You don't ask questions while bribing. (ex, while getting an driving license in RTO). Then, Why the hell you talk about it now.
Coming back to the topic, as an Indian living/working in a foreign county, we have a moral responsibility of projecting our country in a good manner.
Atleast don't spoil its image.
When In rome, do as the Romans do. You can do but you will never become one.
You are always going to be an outsider.
No matter you have green card, blue card.. Your status is always going to be "alien".
Situations change my friend. There may be a day when we might be kicked out of this country.
But, atleast we will always have the crowded, dirty.. India to welcome us back. Because, it is our country…………..
Chilled beer in Bihar?
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
Brain Teasers
Letter to Bill Gates
Subject: Letter to Bill Gates
Dear Mr Bill Gates,
This letter is from Banta Singh from Punjab. We have bought a computer for
our home and we find some problems which I want to bring to your notice.
1. After connecting to internet we plan to open e-mail account and
whenever we fill the form in Hotmail in password column only ****** comes,
but in the rest of the fields whatever we typed comes, but we face this
problem only in password field. We checked with hardware vendor Santa
Singh and he said that there is no problem in keyboard. Because of this we
open the e-mail account with password ***** but I request you to check
this as ourselves we do not know what is the password.
2. We are unable to enter anything after we click the shut down button.
3. There is a button 'start' but there is no stop button.We request you
to check this.
4. We find there is 'Run' in the menu. One of my friend clicked 'run'
has ran upto Amritsar. So, we request you to change that to sit so that we
can click that by sitting.
5. One doubt is that any 're-scooter' available in system? As I find
only 're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.
6. Also there is 'find' button but it is not working properly. My wife
lost the door key and we tried a lot for tracing the key with this 'find',
but unable to trace. Is it a bug??
Thanks,
Banta Singh
Lucky we didn't study in US schools
The following gems of wisdom were gleaned from test papers and essays
from elementary, junior high, high school, and college students of
USA. As one teacher noted, "It is truly astonishing what weird stuff
our young scholars can create under the pressures of time and grades!"
1. "Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure
gin. Hydrogin is gin and water."
2. "Blood flows down one leg and up the other."
3. "Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes
them perspire."
4. "Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas."
5. "Momentum: What you give a person when they are going away."
6. "To prevent milk from turning sour, keep it in the cow."
7. "The parts of speech are lungs and air."
8. "The inhabitants of Moscow are called Mosquitoes."
9. "A census taker is a man who goes from house to house increasing
the population."
10. "Most of the houses in France are made of plaster of Paris."
11. "The spinal column is a long bunch of bones. The head sits on the
top and you sit on the bottom."
12. "The word trousers is an uncommon noun because it is singular at
the top and plural at the bottom."
13. "Iron was discovered because someone smelt it."
14. "Syntax is all the money collected at the church from sinners."
15. Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he
wrote loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone
was calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died for
this.
16. The sun never set on the British Empire because the British
Empire's in the East and the sun sets in the West.
17. Gravity was invented by Issac Walton. It is chiefly noticeable in
the fall when the apples are falling off the trees.
18. Finally Magna Carta provided that no man should be hanged twice
for the same offence.
19. After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline.
20. Actually, Homer was not written by Homer but by another man of that
name.
21. Bach was the most famous composer in the world and so was Handel.
Handel was half German, half Italian and half English. He was very
large.
22. The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we
wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a female
moth.
23. The invention of the steamboat caused a network of rivers to spring
up.
24. Queen Victoria was the longest queen. She sat on a thorn for 63 years.
from elementary, junior high, high school, and college students of
USA. As one teacher noted, "It is truly astonishing what weird stuff
our young scholars can create under the pressures of time and grades!"
1. "Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure
gin. Hydrogin is gin and water."
2. "Blood flows down one leg and up the other."
3. "Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes
them perspire."
4. "Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas."
5. "Momentum: What you give a person when they are going away."
6. "To prevent milk from turning sour, keep it in the cow."
7. "The parts of speech are lungs and air."
8. "The inhabitants of Moscow are called Mosquitoes."
9. "A census taker is a man who goes from house to house increasing
the population."
10. "Most of the houses in France are made of plaster of Paris."
11. "The spinal column is a long bunch of bones. The head sits on the
top and you sit on the bottom."
12. "The word trousers is an uncommon noun because it is singular at
the top and plural at the bottom."
13. "Iron was discovered because someone smelt it."
14. "Syntax is all the money collected at the church from sinners."
15. Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he
wrote loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone
was calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died for
this.
16. The sun never set on the British Empire because the British
Empire's in the East and the sun sets in the West.
17. Gravity was invented by Issac Walton. It is chiefly noticeable in
the fall when the apples are falling off the trees.
18. Finally Magna Carta provided that no man should be hanged twice
for the same offence.
19. After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline.
20. Actually, Homer was not written by Homer but by another man of that
name.
21. Bach was the most famous composer in the world and so was Handel.
Handel was half German, half Italian and half English. He was very
large.
22. The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we
wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a female
moth.
23. The invention of the steamboat caused a network of rivers to spring
up.
24. Queen Victoria was the longest queen. She sat on a thorn for 63 years.
Good one
When the going gets tough and we start to pray.............
we sometimes ask God Why me??
Arthur Ashe, the legendary Wimbledon player was diagnosed with AIDS. From
world over, he received letters from his fans, one of which said: "Why does
GOD have to select you for such a bad disease?"
To this Arthur Ashe replied: The world over — 5 crore children start
playing tennis, 50 lakh learn to play tennis, 5 lakh learn professional
tennis, 50,000 come to the circuit, 5,000 reach the grand slam, 50 reach
Wimbledon, 4 to semi-final, 2 to the finals, When I was holding a cup I
never asked GOD, "Why me?". And today in pain I should not be asking GOD,
"Why me?"
Thursday, February 01, 2007
SSA III
Sardarji proposes to a woman. She says yes if you bring me a
pair of crocodile boots. He sets off to Africa and disappears.
Finally a search is being made, they find him hunting crocodiles and watch him
killing a huge one. He walks over the reptile, checks its legs and
angrily exclaims
"71st and *again* barefoot!"
pair of crocodile boots. He sets off to Africa and disappears.
Finally a search is being made, they find him hunting crocodiles and watch him
killing a huge one. He walks over the reptile, checks its legs and
angrily exclaims
"71st and *again* barefoot!"
Fill in the blank
Couple of years back one of my friend asked this question to me.
Indira Gandhi is the ___________ of Rajiv Gandhi's mother.
Fill in the blank.
Indira Gandhi is the ___________ of Rajiv Gandhi's mother.
Fill in the blank.
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Sardar Strikes Again II
Q: What do you do when a Sardar throws a hand grenade at you?
A: Pull the pin and throw it back.
Q: What do you do when a Sardar throws a pin at you?
A: Run like crazy....he's got a hand grenade in his mouth.
Q: Why does Sardar always smile during lightning storms?
A: They think their picture is being taken.
Q: How do you make a Sardar laugh on Saturday?
A: Tell him a joke on Wednesday.
A: Pull the pin and throw it back.
Q: What do you do when a Sardar throws a pin at you?
A: Run like crazy....he's got a hand grenade in his mouth.
Q: Why does Sardar always smile during lightning storms?
A: They think their picture is being taken.
Q: How do you make a Sardar laugh on Saturday?
A: Tell him a joke on Wednesday.
Offshore Vs Onsite
One is onsite and other is offshore. Which one is what. you decide
Friday, January 26, 2007
God or no god..
Recently I read an article about Sai Baba meeting Karunanithi in Chennai.
Link
In this meeting, Baba presented gold rings to Maran and Durai Murugan (Hon ministers).
This he did it in his usual style. Getting the rings from thin air.
Assuming this is possible religiously, why give it to filthy rich ministers. Why not to all the poor people in India.
2 rings per person every month = No poverty in India. Then, why not?.
I have seen shows of David Blaine or David Copperfield doing all kinds of illusions. I don't think this is any different. So is Sai Baba just an illusionist?. If so, why do people worship him as god?.
Now lets take the example of some of the famous God men in the country.
1. Puttaparthi Sai Baba Link
2. Kanchi Sankaracharya Link
3. Chandraswamy Link
4. Premananda, etc...
Ok. The above people had/have a huge following. There was a huge scandal involving them at some point in time. Then why are people still believing in all these guys.
If god is there, he is definitely not one these people.
Is it only me or is some one with me?.
* The above article is totally my personal opinion. It is not intended to hurt anyone's feeling in particular.
Link
In this meeting, Baba presented gold rings to Maran and Durai Murugan (Hon ministers).
This he did it in his usual style. Getting the rings from thin air.
Assuming this is possible religiously, why give it to filthy rich ministers. Why not to all the poor people in India.
2 rings per person every month = No poverty in India. Then, why not?.
I have seen shows of David Blaine or David Copperfield doing all kinds of illusions. I don't think this is any different. So is Sai Baba just an illusionist?. If so, why do people worship him as god?.
Now lets take the example of some of the famous God men in the country.
1. Puttaparthi Sai Baba Link
2. Kanchi Sankaracharya Link
3. Chandraswamy Link
4. Premananda, etc...
Ok. The above people had/have a huge following. There was a huge scandal involving them at some point in time. Then why are people still believing in all these guys.
If god is there, he is definitely not one these people.
Is it only me or is some one with me?.
* The above article is totally my personal opinion. It is not intended to hurt anyone's feeling in particular.
Smart thinking
A city boy, Kenny, moved to the country and bought a donkey from an old farmer for $100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day. The next day the farmer drove up and said, "Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the donkey died last night."
Kenny replied: "Well then, just give me my money back."
The farmer said: "Can't do that. I went and spent it already."
Kenny said: "OK then, just unload the donkey."
The farmer asked: "What ya gonna do with him?"
Kenny: "I'm going to raffle him off." (Note: To raffle is to sell a thing by lottery - draw lot - to a group of people each paying the same amount for a ticket)
Farmer: "You can't raffle off a dead donkey!"
Kenny: "Sure I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead."
A month later the farmer met up with Kenny and asked, "What happened with that dead donkey?"
Kenny: "I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars apiece and made a profit of $898.00."
Farmer: "Didn't anyone complain?"
Kenny: "Just the guy who won. So I gave him back his two dollars."
KENNY GREW UP AND EVENTUALLY BECAME THE CHAIRMAN OF ENRON
Kenny replied: "Well then, just give me my money back."
The farmer said: "Can't do that. I went and spent it already."
Kenny said: "OK then, just unload the donkey."
The farmer asked: "What ya gonna do with him?"
Kenny: "I'm going to raffle him off." (Note: To raffle is to sell a thing by lottery - draw lot - to a group of people each paying the same amount for a ticket)
Farmer: "You can't raffle off a dead donkey!"
Kenny: "Sure I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead."
A month later the farmer met up with Kenny and asked, "What happened with that dead donkey?"
Kenny: "I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars apiece and made a profit of $898.00."
Farmer: "Didn't anyone complain?"
Kenny: "Just the guy who won. So I gave him back his two dollars."
KENNY GREW UP AND EVENTUALLY BECAME THE CHAIRMAN OF ENRON
Sardar Strikes Again
Once there was a meeting of all the Surd freedom fighters.
They were planning for free Punjab.
Santa Singh raised a point,
"Oh..we'll get Punjab from India but how would we develop it?"
That was a difficult question indeed. Suddenly Banta Singh
replied, "No problem! we'll attack USA, it would take over us and then
we would be a state of USA and we'll automatically get developed."
All the surds became happy at this very simple solution but an old surd did
not utter a single word. Someone asked him why he wasn't happy.
The Surd replied,
"OH! THAT'S ALRIGHT BUT...WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF BY CHANCE WE
TAKE OVER USA ?????"
They were planning for free Punjab.
Santa Singh raised a point,
"Oh..we'll get Punjab from India but how would we develop it?"
That was a difficult question indeed. Suddenly Banta Singh
replied, "No problem! we'll attack USA, it would take over us and then
we would be a state of USA and we'll automatically get developed."
All the surds became happy at this very simple solution but an old surd did
not utter a single word. Someone asked him why he wasn't happy.
The Surd replied,
"OH! THAT'S ALRIGHT BUT...WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF BY CHANCE WE
TAKE OVER USA ?????"
